The Science
a note on how I got here.
I loved that someone asked a science question when I asked what information folks wanted me to share. The reason? That is why I chose this profession – the science. It turns out that is not what has kept me here, but it is still woven into what I love about this work.
Trigger warning – I do discuss anatomy and biology, which can be disturbing to some.
In high school, anatomy was my favorite subject and I loved that I was able to take it in both my Junior and Senior years. I thought the insides of all bodies were beautiful and complex. It’s not often we get to see the systems as they are, but when you can and are able to get past the ick factor – you see the absolute miracle that it is to have a body.
Think of it. The egg and the sperm combine to form a unit and grow. Cells multiply and do what they are told, developing the special part of the whole they are caused to create. A baby forms, then grows…and keeps growing. When you contemplate this process, it makes one awestruck.
Most of us just see the external physical manifestation of the process, but in the sciences, you get to get granular; see not just what was created to do a job, but how it operates. I love it. I love the tubes that carry our blood from one place to another. I love the alveoli in our lungs that exchange gas. I love the brain with its intricate pathways. It is all just so darn cool.
It is also helpful that I was never squeamish. Perhaps I was the least squeamish of anyone in my high school class. I wanted to see and to learn - and while it occurred to me that I was supposed to think of it as gross, I just…didn’t.
So. I went to Mortuary College to become a death care professional and embalmer. It was a trade, and my parents were big on trade schools, and I recognized that not everyone could do it. Perhaps, I thought, it was meant to be how I participated in the world. I should say, two decades later, while embalming has its place, it is neither something I often do, nor something I want for myself.
I’ll tell you why – because I hesitate to disrupt the process that has been so thoughtfully put into place. Our cells know what to do, they have been designed not just to create, but to break down. It is beautiful in its simplicity and who am I to interrupt the process? I am just as awestruck at the way we decompose as I am in the way we develop, although if I am honest, that process is much less pleasant to witness.
Now before you leap to the conclusion that I am just a weirdo…ok, maybe…but also, it’s just a cycle. I appreciate the beauty and necessity of all cycles. If you have taken a photo of fallen orange leaves or a barren winter – maybe you do, too!
So, in answer to the question someone asked about what causes us to break down – it starts with autolysis. Oxygen is no longer available to our cells and acidity increases. Enzymes digest cell membranes, and cells are broken down. Our immune system no longer exists, and microbes can spread freely. The gut bacteria we are so careful to balance in life is left unchecked, and starts to digest what is available...and so it goes, until a body is no longer.
Obviously, this is the abridged version but enough hopefully for me to get my point across – the body is amazing! In its creation and undoing. In doing this work, I am staying present for all of it. I am calling attention to all of it. I am asking you to, if not embrace, then recognize the wonder of it all!
I am grateful for my time in Anatomy class, because it was there that I began to lean into the awesomeness that is any living body on Earth. I am grateful that I am not squeamish, so that I am able to help when others can not, with both living bodies and deceased ones*. I am grateful to be in the place to advocate for cycles, including the ends which tend to get a bad wrap.
We do not have beginnings without endings my friends – and all of it can be beautiful if we look past what can appear unpleasant but is, in function, transformational.
PS - With one very notable exception - I could never be a dentist or dental hygienist, because I am totally squeamish about that!